I read and shared this article on my facebook wall yesterday.
The Reason Every Kid Should Talk Back to Their Parents
There were several very good points made regarding the article.
Here are my thoughts. First, I really despise the title of this article. It just makes my blood boil. Moving on.
Why on earth would the mother allow her daughter to play with his new birthday presents without asking? I think my friend Anne is right, the author is exasperating her son.
I do think the inability to say no, to set and respect boundaries IS a problem and a big one. However, I think it is possible to teach our children to set and respect boundaries without encouraging disrespect and defiance. Which by the way, both disrespect and defiance are also boundary issues. They are just the other side of the coin that the author fears.
I do not believe we should live our lives according to others “forceful shoulds” but we also shouldn’t live according to the “whispered, passionate wants of our own hearts” either. Jeremiah 17:9 says ” The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” As believers we should seek to live according to YHVH’s ways. We should seek Him in all things. We should never seek to “be the author of our own lives” YHVH is the author of our lives.
When we truly give our lives to Him we will never lose our voice. Because we voice our anxieties, fears, concerns and even the desires of our own hearts to the very Creator of the Universe, the King of Kings. And He is faithful!
When we begin to seek Him and His Ways in all things we begin to learn how to not be used by the world and how to be useful to our King.
If our hearts desire is to walk in His ways, we will be much less likely to “cave in to pressure” and do any of the things mentioned because all of those things result from idolatry, putting someone or something above YHVH.
On the other hand, “pourous boundaries” are a real problem today. Children absolutely do need to learn to say no to others. For example, they need to know that it’s ok to say no when a touch makes them uncomfortable. How will they be comfortable saying no to inappropriate touch if they are never allowed to say “No thank you” to Aunt or Grammy’s kisses? How will they have the courage to say “No, I won’t ride in a car alone with you because it is inappropriate and against family rules” if they have never had to explain or defend the family rule of removing shoes at the door to their friends? How will they learn to say “No, my sweet child, I can not allow you to do this thing you so desire because it offends our Elohim”? How will they ever gain the strength to say to dear friends “If you choose to wear clothes that reveal cleavage, midriff, and/or thighs (even if it is a swimming suit) around my family I will have no choice but to ask you to leave. YHVH and my family come first.”? They may never be able to. Or they may find themselves 40 something with a family of their own and YHVH will ask them to take a stand. And they will feel inadequate. And Yah will be their strength. And He will lead them to walk in His ways. He will show them, one step at a time, to take the ancient paths. He will take them by the hand and guide them. He will teach them how to wait on Him. He will send His Ruach to remind them that if they are not sure of where He is leading, it means just “Be still and know that I am YHVH Elohim.” They will remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” And then they will remember Ruth 1:16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.”
Todah for reading and Shalom,